Suburban Warlock: A Slice of Life Fantasy by Noah Layton

Author:Noah Layton [Layton, Noah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B0D63SNZ9Y
Published: 2024-06-03T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 22

Air Trespassing

Sophie took off early the next day to get some work done while I tended to a few errands, including cleaning the house and rearranging a few pieces of furniture.

If there was one thing I was learning about suburban life besides the beautiful women and the awesome food, it was that the free time available to me now meant I could think about things like furniture placement.

I wanted the place to look nice, sure, but after three different variations of my couches around the coffee table-

‘I must be going crazy.’

I poured myself some coffee and forgot about it.

I headed into the backyard to see Surani among the towering grass, bringing another hug of bitter lemonade with me. The familiar I had purchased from Horned Practicalities was still flying in repetitive circles above the yard, looking happier than ever. These things didn’t need sleep; it was exercising their protectiveness that fueled them, and judging by the pieces of drone scattered around my yard, it was doing its job right.

‘Excellent addition with that creature of yours,’ the wood-nymph spoke. ‘She’s already proving her worth.’

‘How so?’

‘She took down one of those flying devils that frequent the skies around here not 20 minutes ago. What’s that?’ She nodded to the jug in my hand.

‘My creative solution to not drinking in the afternoon.’

‘You don’t drink in the afternoon?’

‘Alcohol, I mean. With how much free time I’ve got, I really don’t want to end up like some bored suburban house wife knocking down a glass of wine every other hour…’

‘Can I have some?’

I poured the wood-nymph a glass and handed it to her. She flexed her jaw at the sourness and smacked her lips at the lingering sweetness.

‘Mm…’ She nodded. ‘That is admittedly very nice. It seems I may have made an error of judgement staying away from the outer world for so long… Anyway, what are you doing here? Don’t you have adventuring to do? I need my staff.’

‘I’ll start working on that,’ I sighed, ‘Just as soon as you tell me the location of the key to the hidden hoard, and the location of the hoard itself. Otherwise I can’t get anything done.’

‘I already told you,’ she spoke, ‘Neath an oak bowed east, its-

‘Leaves scattered with red and green,’ I finished for her. ‘One, that’s way too vague, and two, it doesn’t even get us started on the location of the staff and the artifacts. That’s just the location of the key.’

The wood-nymph scowled at me before crossing her arms in defeat. ‘It’s not my fault my memory has faded a little.’

‘I know,’ I replied in understanding, cooling off a little, ‘but that doesn’t help me. In the meantime, how about I tidy this place up just a little?’

‘It’s perfectly tidy! You civil folks are always so obsessed with taming the wilds.’

‘I-’

I was about to go on another ill-decided rant about it being my property when a knock came at the front door.

‘I’ve got to get that – to be continued.’

‘Oh, I’ll be waiting.

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